That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
my shit smells like andre
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize