well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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