I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
