My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
He told me they were just razor bumps!
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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