it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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