I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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