hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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