I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
