I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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