and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
