Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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