We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Randomize