I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
