i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
