ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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