we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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