I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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