fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Randomize
