another moral hangover. fuck.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
