Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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