I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Randomize
