Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
