Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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