I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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