are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
