Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
