I CAN MOONWALK!
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
