Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
accomplished twins. life is a go
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
