do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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