So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...