i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
He passed out mid-signature
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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