Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(318): View more from Louisiana

Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test

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(410): View more from Maryland

no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina

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(949): View more from California

I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?

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(773): View more from Illinois

Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(765): View more from Indiana

Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.

(1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.

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(240): View more from Maryland

I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.

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(970): View more from Colorado

You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.

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(541): View more from Oregon

I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂

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