3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle