thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
