Texts From Last Night

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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"

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  (515): Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?" http://tfl.nu/shhr
  Replies (28) Good night (6443) Bad night (1235)
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  (+32): View more from Belgium

  Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.

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  (+32): Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello. http://tfl.nu/agdc
  Replies (55) Good night (7212) Bad night (1634)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars

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  (614): Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars http://tfl.nu/pbzi
  Replies (28) Good night (1767) Bad night (5477)
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  (805): View more from California

  You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.

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  (805): You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed. http://tfl.nu/chu6
  Replies (7) Good night (1875) Bad night (3710)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.

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  (765): Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack. http://tfl.nu/n2jf
  Replies (6) Good night (1000) Bad night (2118)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.

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  (773): If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you. http://tfl.nu/rtfn
  Replies (6) Good night (1831) Bad night (663)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels

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  (469): You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels http://tfl.nu/mqc8
  Replies (8) Good night (1942) Bad night (619)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day

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  (251): my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day http://tfl.nu/3vt7
  Replies (8) Good night (1246) Bad night (702)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday

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  (240): ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday http://tfl.nu/ci9y
  Replies (1) Good night (837) Bad night (427)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?

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  (808): Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space? http://tfl.nu/h1sf
  Replies (12) Good night (1502) Bad night (902)
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  (408): View more from California

  Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.

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  (408): Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA. http://tfl.nu/jstd
  Replies (3) Good night (671) Bad night (387)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?

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  (780): Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office? http://tfl.nu/0lyw
  Replies (6) Good night (437) Bad night (709)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation

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  (406): Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation http://tfl.nu/7kli
  Replies (9) Good night (1015) Bad night (411)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.

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  (519): I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are. http://tfl.nu/adzb
  Replies (1) Good night (598) Bad night (229)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?

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  (336): Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid? http://tfl.nu/9dj6
  Replies (3) Good night (486) Bad night (250)

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