What a fucking waste of an outfit
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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