where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
