I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
