ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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