Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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