I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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