so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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