wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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