Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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