It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
