butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
