i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
