He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
