2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Dick very happy bro
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
