____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
