Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
