dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
