She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
So much Jack, so little girl.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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