is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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