Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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