I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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