Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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