Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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