She's JV to your varsity
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
