I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
