She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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