I'm going to jail i love you
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
